I wanted to savor every moment, every train trip, every sip of cappuccino, every conversation, every new city we explored, every smile with my daughter.
We had two weeks and one day.
Sometimes just thinking about leaving her made me cry.
Sometimes I just sobbed.
But, I would not let her know this. Not yet. It would be too hard.
On her. And on me.
She chose to go to Germany http://www.germany-tourism.de/
for her first year away to college and I was thrilled. This is the country of my birth.
My mother in law had asked me at one point: “Why are you encouraging Rachel to go to Germany. So far away.”
What I encouraged my daughter -- what I encourage all of my children to do – is seek after God’s will in their lives. To find their purpose. Their calling. To risk. To take adventures. To live. To laugh. To question. To live outside the box once in a while. To dream. To journey. To dream.
And for Rachel, going to Germany this first year out of high school was her dream.
The reality of it though for me hit about half way through our two weeks of travelling before I was to drop her off.
We had had our first few days of seeing London, Buckingham Palace, the Grosvenor Hotel, London Bridge, lunches out, Dusseldorf, family gatherings, Koln.
It was amazing, but at times, it felt a bit hectic, and she said something to me: “We haven’t sat down and had torte—German for cake—and coffee,” and I realized as I thought about what matters to Rachel is not seeing every cathedral or church there is in every town.
No, what Rachel remembers—and talked about the most from her visit to Europe a year ago—was times sipping cappuccinos at sidewalk cafes and walking places and bicycle riding around town. That is what meant something to her.
And here, our first few days, though really great, were filled with a bit too much rushing around. Seeing everything there is to see. And, sometimes we didn’t stop for meals or not until really late at night. Or we’d skip lunch. And I could tell Rachel did not like this. Sometimes it was not my fault as we were with relatives, but other times I did have control.
I desperately wanted the memories that Rachel would take from this trip -- from our two weeks together before I dropped her off for Bible college, http://www.bodenseehof.de/view.php -- to be wonderful. Sweet. Happy.
So, I changed directions in my mind. I decided that it was not so much about the finding but it was about the hunt. It was the journey. The very thing I talk about in my life a lot. The journey. The adventure.
As we continued on our two weeks, I made sure that at the first hint of being tired or hungry that we found a place to sit and eat. Or have Italian ice. Or watch the sunset.
We did not see everything in the Dresden area there is to see. We did not see every building or street in Prague that there is so see. Nor in Berlin. Just to be there was of course amazing, but I allowed myself to not be on such an agenda-setting course, where you forget to smell the proverbial roses.
The two weeks were not without a few small glitches –yes, my daughter and I actually had a short moment of impatience between us, which I regret having. Simply put, she was in a bad mood and just tired as there was a certain city – Weimar-that I really wanted to see because my mom told me to- and there was a certain Fortress I really wanted to stop at- Wartburg—again, cause my mom suggested it, but Rachel was tired, and I had really worked so much around my daughter and felt she could give a little as well. We worked through it and said we were sorry to one another and we moved on.
Frankly, I think God may have allowed that short not as pleasant moment between to make it easier to say goodbye.
The long goodbye was not easy.
As we got closer to the time I would have to say goodbye, just thinking about it made me sob. Weep. I wrote a poem about it –the goodbye-
To my daughter SunshineGirl
Sunshine fleeting, captured in the reflection of the sea, but only for a moment -
Then it disappears into the canvas of the sunset.
Sunshine will rise again. It will paint itself in the sunrise
Erasing the dark.
Sunshine will brighten my day, warm my heart. But it is only here for the day. Then night comes.
It appears with the rain in the rainbow, but only for a moment. When you look for it. When it surprises you.
You cannot capture a rainbow. It does not belong to you. It can never be yours. It belongs to God. It was created by the maker of heaven and earth. It lives. It breathes. It brings warmth and life into others.
Sunshine and rainbows fill the earth with tenderness and warmth and love but can never be owned. For a moment, a fleeting moment, sunshine’s rays are captured in a smile, in a look, in a snapshot, and then they go away, but they stay with you. You are never ever the same again.
The warmth. Lingers in your heart and though it is dark, the light stays with you. And you wait to see it again. You wait as long as you need to wait.
And you long for the morning.
- - -
The day came; two weeks and one day into our traveling days, when I had leave Rachel. To say Goodbye.
Bodenseehof in Friedrichshafen. I was able to see her room which had an amazing view of the Bodensee (Lake Constance) and I met the nice people at the school, and we had such a neat time at the lake and then we walked back, and I asked if I should go back into the hall with her and she politely said, “That’s okay Mom,” which was my sign to go out gracefully.
I turned to give her a hug and say a prayer with her and I could feel the tears welling up in me but I did not want to cry in front of her. Not that I cannot show emotion to my daughter but it was time for me to let go. To say good-bye.
I had prepared her 18 and a half years for this and she was ready. Was I?
I needed to be. I said a short prayer and turned around to my waiting cousins who had driven us here.
The Long Good-bye.
In the train I felt like someone was missing. I thought of Amy Grant’s song “Missing you” The words go like this:
“Missing you is just a part of living. Missing you feels like a way of life.”
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
TAKING FIRST CHILD TO COLLEGE. . .
Today I am on a plane to Germany to take my daughter to herfirst year of college.
(I wrote about it for my 9-11-08 Real-Life Mom column published monthly in the SW Weekly section of The Oregonian newspaper, also found online http://blog.oregonlive.com/writermom/2008/10/first_child_leaving_the_nest_l.html
It is bittersweet. Germany is one of my favorite places, and not just because I was born there. I love the German lifestyle of walking and riding bicyclesto places, and I am especially happy that Rachel chose Bible college forher first year away. http://www.bodenseehof.de/view.php
That is the sweet part.
But I find myself a bit lost as my first child leaves the nest,even if that is not permanent — yet. Part of the reason may be that she is my firstborn and part mayhave to do with her being my only daughter, in a family with four sons.
And perhaps part of the reason has to do with my identity as a mother. Ihave been a mom for almost two decades. I have been needed — and by mydaughter’s side — for almost half my life. My daughter and I are very close. I have coached her sportsteams and volunteered in her classrooms and led her high school Biblestudy and summer church camps. We’ve gone on mission trips and summerroad trips together.
Now she won’t need me as much. I know that is not entirely true, as she will still need me in different ways, but that is how I will feel on that long flight home, which I will not think about right now.
I have begun to realize — though it is hard to admit — that I have a tendency to become emotionally dependent upon my children,especially my daughter. I have found myself somewhat insecure at times unless my kidsare with me — again, especially my daughter. I am not talking about emotional dependency in the clinical sense, in which people hold others back in order to be needed.
And I am not talking about emotional dependency in the “living through mychild” kind of way, though that is an issue with some parents. I am talking about my basic emotional attachment to my children.
I suppose part of it is that I find fulfillment and enjoyment inbeing a mom. But you begin realizing as your children grow that they donot need you as much. And moving our kids toward independence is what we strive for from the day they leave the womb.
We celebrate every step towardindependence: The first day without diapers. The first time riding abicycle without training wheels. The first day of school. (It is wild tothink that my firstborn starts college as my lastborn startskindergarten. How’s that for coming full circle?) So, bittersweet is where I’m at. But is that not whatparenting is all about? The good with the tough; the blessings with thechallenges; the years together, the times to say goodbye.
Yes, it will be hard leaving my daughter, but sweet coming home tofour sons who still need me.
(I wrote about it for my 9-11-08 Real-Life Mom column published monthly in the SW Weekly section of The Oregonian newspaper, also found online http://blog.oregonlive.com/writermom/2008/10/first_child_leaving_the_nest_l.html
It is bittersweet. Germany is one of my favorite places, and not just because I was born there. I love the German lifestyle of walking and riding bicyclesto places, and I am especially happy that Rachel chose Bible college forher first year away. http://www.bodenseehof.de/view.php
That is the sweet part.
But I find myself a bit lost as my first child leaves the nest,even if that is not permanent — yet. Part of the reason may be that she is my firstborn and part mayhave to do with her being my only daughter, in a family with four sons.
And perhaps part of the reason has to do with my identity as a mother. Ihave been a mom for almost two decades. I have been needed — and by mydaughter’s side — for almost half my life. My daughter and I are very close. I have coached her sportsteams and volunteered in her classrooms and led her high school Biblestudy and summer church camps. We’ve gone on mission trips and summerroad trips together.
Now she won’t need me as much. I know that is not entirely true, as she will still need me in different ways, but that is how I will feel on that long flight home, which I will not think about right now.
I have begun to realize — though it is hard to admit — that I have a tendency to become emotionally dependent upon my children,especially my daughter. I have found myself somewhat insecure at times unless my kidsare with me — again, especially my daughter. I am not talking about emotional dependency in the clinical sense, in which people hold others back in order to be needed.
And I am not talking about emotional dependency in the “living through mychild” kind of way, though that is an issue with some parents. I am talking about my basic emotional attachment to my children.
I suppose part of it is that I find fulfillment and enjoyment inbeing a mom. But you begin realizing as your children grow that they donot need you as much. And moving our kids toward independence is what we strive for from the day they leave the womb.
We celebrate every step towardindependence: The first day without diapers. The first time riding abicycle without training wheels. The first day of school. (It is wild tothink that my firstborn starts college as my lastborn startskindergarten. How’s that for coming full circle?) So, bittersweet is where I’m at. But is that not whatparenting is all about? The good with the tough; the blessings with thechallenges; the years together, the times to say goodbye.
Yes, it will be hard leaving my daughter, but sweet coming home tofour sons who still need me.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Do not let students who were hit walking to school stop you from walking or bicycling places...
Two students in Salem Oregon got hit yesterday in a crosswalk walking to school – on their first day of school. They were doing the right thing, crossing at a crosswalk designated for drivers to stop. http://www.statesmanjournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080904/NEWS/809040342/1001
The driver did not stop. He was only cited for failing to stop at a crosswalk, not for hitting two children.
It was the first day back for students and perhaps drivers are not looking for students, but in general, it shows how we as an American society have a ways to go when it comes to people getting out and walking and bicycle riding places. It is such a rare thing in some communities that drivers do not think: Oh, crosswalk, beware of pedestrians.
Instead, drivers are in a hurry to make it to their next destination.
Part of the issue is that many people who drive frankly never walk or bicycle themselves so they just do not know what it is like out there. In suburbia where I live, it is harder to walk and bicycle anywhere. Sidewalks are missing or simply end. Bike lanes just stop as well.
Even in designated crosswalk areas, you are competing with cars to get across the street when the light blinks walk for you and is green for the cars.
What made me especially sad for the two Salem students hit by the car on their way to school, is their comment afterwards: “We are going to get a ride tomorrow to school. From now on.”
I do not blame them in a way, but really, instead, I wish more people would take up walking and bicycle riding to school – and to other places – so that it is not such an unusual site to see people walking. The more people that walk, the more others will watch out for them, the more cautious people will be.
I admire the yearly Walk To School Day, which encourages entire school communities to walk to school. http://www.walktoschool.org/
There is strength in numbers for sure. I organized a couple of these events for my children’s school at Cedar Oak Park in West Linn a few years ago, and we had a great time. It was fun to watch cars do a double take when they saw 100 students cross Highway 43.
And, one school district in Nevada is encouraging parents to walk their kids to school not just once a year but every day. http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2008/aug/28/district-asks-parents-park-walk-students-school/
Congestion around schools is incredibly stressful in many school districts, including this one in Nevada, which prompted this school to take action. The specific program is a first step in getting kids to walk to school; in this case, it has parents parking in a location away from the school then walking the rest of the way with their kids to school. Great start.
I would take it a step farther. Walk all the way to school with your child. Yes, it takes time, but the rewards are incredible. Fresh air. Exercise. Time with your child. Conversation.
Walking with your children – or bicycling with them – promotes exercise and togetherness, plus it saves the planet and gas money.
I find it quite interesting how school buses pick up kids who live so close to school. I think kids who live a half mile away from school should walk or bicycle. Also, school buses stop every third or fourth house sometimes in certain districts. My sister has told me about this in her district.
Let the kid walk to a neighbor’s house to catch the bus. Some districts, due to higher fuel prices are doing just this. California has eliminated school buses for thousands of children. Washington state and elsewhere are consolidating school bus stops. http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/08/20/walking.to.school.ap/
In Germany, kids always walk or ride their bicycles to school. There is no school bus and parents do not tend to drive. It is a whole different way of looking at transportation. In American suburbs, it will take time to get people to think about walking and bicycling places; it will take grass roots efforts.
I hope the situation in Salem will not hinder but instead encourage more students to walk or bicycle to school. Yet, as these students found out, even at a crosswalk, you still have to be careful. That is what I teach my kids as they begin to venture out on their own, walking or bicycling places. Even when you have the right-of-way, still watch out.
But do not give up. Instead, ask others to join you, including your parents.
The driver did not stop. He was only cited for failing to stop at a crosswalk, not for hitting two children.
It was the first day back for students and perhaps drivers are not looking for students, but in general, it shows how we as an American society have a ways to go when it comes to people getting out and walking and bicycle riding places. It is such a rare thing in some communities that drivers do not think: Oh, crosswalk, beware of pedestrians.
Instead, drivers are in a hurry to make it to their next destination.
Part of the issue is that many people who drive frankly never walk or bicycle themselves so they just do not know what it is like out there. In suburbia where I live, it is harder to walk and bicycle anywhere. Sidewalks are missing or simply end. Bike lanes just stop as well.
Even in designated crosswalk areas, you are competing with cars to get across the street when the light blinks walk for you and is green for the cars.
What made me especially sad for the two Salem students hit by the car on their way to school, is their comment afterwards: “We are going to get a ride tomorrow to school. From now on.”
I do not blame them in a way, but really, instead, I wish more people would take up walking and bicycle riding to school – and to other places – so that it is not such an unusual site to see people walking. The more people that walk, the more others will watch out for them, the more cautious people will be.
I admire the yearly Walk To School Day, which encourages entire school communities to walk to school. http://www.walktoschool.org/
There is strength in numbers for sure. I organized a couple of these events for my children’s school at Cedar Oak Park in West Linn a few years ago, and we had a great time. It was fun to watch cars do a double take when they saw 100 students cross Highway 43.
And, one school district in Nevada is encouraging parents to walk their kids to school not just once a year but every day. http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2008/aug/28/district-asks-parents-park-walk-students-school/
Congestion around schools is incredibly stressful in many school districts, including this one in Nevada, which prompted this school to take action. The specific program is a first step in getting kids to walk to school; in this case, it has parents parking in a location away from the school then walking the rest of the way with their kids to school. Great start.
I would take it a step farther. Walk all the way to school with your child. Yes, it takes time, but the rewards are incredible. Fresh air. Exercise. Time with your child. Conversation.
Walking with your children – or bicycling with them – promotes exercise and togetherness, plus it saves the planet and gas money.
I find it quite interesting how school buses pick up kids who live so close to school. I think kids who live a half mile away from school should walk or bicycle. Also, school buses stop every third or fourth house sometimes in certain districts. My sister has told me about this in her district.
Let the kid walk to a neighbor’s house to catch the bus. Some districts, due to higher fuel prices are doing just this. California has eliminated school buses for thousands of children. Washington state and elsewhere are consolidating school bus stops. http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/08/20/walking.to.school.ap/
In Germany, kids always walk or ride their bicycles to school. There is no school bus and parents do not tend to drive. It is a whole different way of looking at transportation. In American suburbs, it will take time to get people to think about walking and bicycling places; it will take grass roots efforts.
I hope the situation in Salem will not hinder but instead encourage more students to walk or bicycle to school. Yet, as these students found out, even at a crosswalk, you still have to be careful. That is what I teach my kids as they begin to venture out on their own, walking or bicycling places. Even when you have the right-of-way, still watch out.
But do not give up. Instead, ask others to join you, including your parents.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Woman Vice President Candidate gets People talking about Juggling Motherhood and Family Life
Tonight, Alaskan governor and Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin gave her speech at the Republican National Convention. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=94258995
She was sharp, she was funny, she was smart, she had things to say. She showed compassion and she has a Downs Syndrome Child whom she adores and is just as proud of as her other four children.
I loved how she started the speech by saying that the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull is lip stick. She talked about all she did as governor - the biggest things related to taking on big government and that was impressive.
The luxury jet owned by the state of Alaska she sold on e-bay for 2.1 million dollars! Got to love that one.
Wow. As governor, she got rid of the personal driver and personal chef, all luxuries she could have taken advantage of as governor of Alaska. These were examples of how she nixed the wasteful government spending and saved hard working tax payers half a billion dollars.
The talk has been so much about how this woman can juggle being a mom of five children and vice president at the same time. She has already proven herself.
And, as former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani said just prior to Palin speaking, we would never question a male politician's ability to lead based upon the number of children he has. Interesting thoughts. I venture to add to that- a democratic woman. . . just asking...
As a working mother of five myself multitasking is par for the course. I readily admit, and have written about, that it is never easy to juggle, and sometimes you cannot have it all. Something does give and a supportive family helps. It is Palin's choice to work and we should never question her ability to ability to work based upon the number of children she has. Nor, her ability to parent based upon her job.
Republican or democrat aside, give Sarah Palin a chance to show what she knows. And what she can do.
She was sharp, she was funny, she was smart, she had things to say. She showed compassion and she has a Downs Syndrome Child whom she adores and is just as proud of as her other four children.
I loved how she started the speech by saying that the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull is lip stick. She talked about all she did as governor - the biggest things related to taking on big government and that was impressive.
The luxury jet owned by the state of Alaska she sold on e-bay for 2.1 million dollars! Got to love that one.
Wow. As governor, she got rid of the personal driver and personal chef, all luxuries she could have taken advantage of as governor of Alaska. These were examples of how she nixed the wasteful government spending and saved hard working tax payers half a billion dollars.
The talk has been so much about how this woman can juggle being a mom of five children and vice president at the same time. She has already proven herself.
And, as former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani said just prior to Palin speaking, we would never question a male politician's ability to lead based upon the number of children he has. Interesting thoughts. I venture to add to that- a democratic woman. . . just asking...
As a working mother of five myself multitasking is par for the course. I readily admit, and have written about, that it is never easy to juggle, and sometimes you cannot have it all. Something does give and a supportive family helps. It is Palin's choice to work and we should never question her ability to ability to work based upon the number of children she has. Nor, her ability to parent based upon her job.
Republican or democrat aside, give Sarah Palin a chance to show what she knows. And what she can do.
BACK TO SCHOOL. . . kindergartener is my last child
I told my 5-year-old who started kindergarten today that he could not grow up so quickly.
He says, "I have to."
He is my youngest. I am sad. I am happy. I am reflective. I am conflicted.
On the one hand, I will have a full 17 and a half hours a week to myself... What will I do with myself. I have not had that much time to myself since my second oldest, now 17, started kindergarten 12 years ago. I will have quiet. Time to be still. To work in peace. Uninterrupted.
But, it means change and kids not as dependent on me and my little circle at home being not the same any more.
Back to school. What a fun time. Especially for our youngest in the house. . . I reflect more on this in my Oregonian blog - oregonlive.com KIDDO page WriterMom blog on the following link- http://blog.oregonlive.com/writermom/2008/09/kindergartner_in_school_means.html
He says, "I have to."
He is my youngest. I am sad. I am happy. I am reflective. I am conflicted.
On the one hand, I will have a full 17 and a half hours a week to myself... What will I do with myself. I have not had that much time to myself since my second oldest, now 17, started kindergarten 12 years ago. I will have quiet. Time to be still. To work in peace. Uninterrupted.
But, it means change and kids not as dependent on me and my little circle at home being not the same any more.
Back to school. What a fun time. Especially for our youngest in the house. . . I reflect more on this in my Oregonian blog - oregonlive.com KIDDO page WriterMom blog on the following link- http://blog.oregonlive.com/writermom/2008/09/kindergartner_in_school_means.html
Saturday, August 30, 2008
World Meteorite Day in West Linn Oregon
Here is a link to the info and photos of the first annual World Meteorite Day held in West Linn to commemorite what may be West Linn Oregon's largest [literally] claim to fame - Photos included... http://westlinnbook.blogspot.com/2008/08/world-meteorite-day-photos.html
and the link to the city's website regarding Fields Park . . . http://westlinnoregon.gov/parksrec/parks/fields-bridge-park
and the link to the city's website regarding Fields Park . . . http://westlinnoregon.gov/parksrec/parks/fields-bridge-park
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Olympics. . . Michael Phelps honoring Mom
I Love the Olympics. . . I am glued to the TV during these two weeks every two years, alternating summer and winter Olympics. My favorite are the Summer Olympics - this year's in Beijing has been amazing. I say that every time about the Olympics - http://www.nbcolympics.com/swimming/index.html
I love gymnastics especially and was really moved by Nastia's Olympic gold in the women's all around. I still remember the 1972 Olympics watching Olga Korbut -and in 1976, Nadia.
This Olympics as a Mom of four boys, I was particularly touched by Michael Phelps and his winning 8 gold medals in swimming and each time honoring his Mom. His single mom. What a tribute. As mom I love to see children honor their parents and, though many criticize the over - coverage of Phelps, he did win 8 golds, besting Mark Spitz's record of 7 golds in one Olympics. Then, to have Phelps continually thank his mom for all her sacrifice, I was really impressed.
I love gymnastics especially and was really moved by Nastia's Olympic gold in the women's all around. I still remember the 1972 Olympics watching Olga Korbut -and in 1976, Nadia.
This Olympics as a Mom of four boys, I was particularly touched by Michael Phelps and his winning 8 gold medals in swimming and each time honoring his Mom. His single mom. What a tribute. As mom I love to see children honor their parents and, though many criticize the over - coverage of Phelps, he did win 8 golds, besting Mark Spitz's record of 7 golds in one Olympics. Then, to have Phelps continually thank his mom for all her sacrifice, I was really impressed.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
INTO THE WILD . . . letting our ducks go today...
We let our ducks go today…into the wild.
At first they would not leave us, and my husband actually had the kids begin the round them up to bring them back to our creek; perhaps they were too young after all, and not quite ready to leave the nest. But then I saw an older duck hanging around the cage where we had put them again, and I thought, perhaps this is the momma duck recognizing her baby. I suggested letting out ducks out again, just to see.
And sure enough, our two ducks swam toward the other duck and they were off. Pretty cute.
But what I was watching just as much was my three boys – Augustin, 5, and Wesley, 10, and Mickael Josef, 10 – as they interacted with the ducks.
Really, it has been all five kids I have been watching interact with the ducklings these past five weeks. It was Rachel, 18, who first discovered the two barely born ducklings, sans their mother, in our backyard near our creek. She was on our trampoline and heard some duck-like noise and when she went looking for them she saw a mother with eight ducklings waddling down the creek. All of a sudden, three got left behind in our yard.
They were about the size of a fist.
Rachel was able to rescue two of the three babies which the mama deserted – we never found the third one. After that point, all of the kids got involved with the taking care of the babies.
My husband made it a weekend project to build a large cage for them. They bought duck food and took them to the creek every day to watch them play. They cleaned out the cage; they dug out the creek to make a pond area. All of the boys out there with their shovels. They held the baby ducklings. Twice a day, they changed the ducks water and filled the food container. Their friends and cousins came over to see the ducks.
They nurtured the ducklings and christened them “Wildflower” and “Feisty”. The ducklings seemed comfortable with the kids. “They’re so cute,” I heard. They did not run away, and they were not afraid at all it seemed. Each night, Rachel brought the ducks inside the house to protect them from predators, and she put them outside again in the morning, at 6 am, before leaving for work.
The ducklings grew so quickly. Soon, little buds came in that would become their wings. Wildflower and Feisty began flapping. And they stopped being so cozy with the kids. They loved being in the creek, splashing around, chasing one another, and they really did not want to go back into the cage. They ran away and it was a bit of an effort to catch them.
It seemed like they wanted to be free.
As Wildflower and Feisty became more independent, the kids’ interest lessened a bit. My husband said it is time to consider letting them go.
Today was the day.
We picked Cedaroak Boat Landing nearby and we held the little carrying case cage as we walked through the long grass to the river. We picked a spot near the island, that was away from the loud boats and people.
As we let Wildflower and Feisty out of the cage and into the river, they looked happy at first. They swam around, ducking their heads in after bugs. But, there were no other ducks around, and soon our ducks came back out to where we were. They seemed lost in the wild. Perhaps they were not ready.
But, then, they saw the other duck. It was time. Feisty and Wildflower followed after the other duck as if it was their mother.
“We found the mother,” Augustin said. “Look, Wildflower and Feisty are following her.”
“I think that is the mother for sure,” Mickael Josef said.
“Look, there are other ducks over there. Maybe they are all related,” Wesley said.
We watched from the shore. We snapped photographs. We waited to be sure they would be okay.
Feisty and Wildflower got separated for a moment from the other duck. “Maybe we should take them back home,” Wesley suggested. “It is a bit too late for that,” Chris said.
We found a log to sit on where we could observe from a distance. We saw other young ducks about the same age.
“I think those are the brothers and sisters,” Mickael Josef said.
Finally, it was time to leave. To leave the ducks in the wild. To trust.
Chris and Augustin and Wesley went ahead while Mickael Josef took his time. Wanting to be sure Feisty and Wildflower were okay.
Sure enough – our last view of our ducklings they were diving under water with several other ducks, looking for dinner. It was time to go home and get ready for ours as well.
At first they would not leave us, and my husband actually had the kids begin the round them up to bring them back to our creek; perhaps they were too young after all, and not quite ready to leave the nest. But then I saw an older duck hanging around the cage where we had put them again, and I thought, perhaps this is the momma duck recognizing her baby. I suggested letting out ducks out again, just to see.
And sure enough, our two ducks swam toward the other duck and they were off. Pretty cute.
But what I was watching just as much was my three boys – Augustin, 5, and Wesley, 10, and Mickael Josef, 10 – as they interacted with the ducks.
Really, it has been all five kids I have been watching interact with the ducklings these past five weeks. It was Rachel, 18, who first discovered the two barely born ducklings, sans their mother, in our backyard near our creek. She was on our trampoline and heard some duck-like noise and when she went looking for them she saw a mother with eight ducklings waddling down the creek. All of a sudden, three got left behind in our yard.
They were about the size of a fist.
Rachel was able to rescue two of the three babies which the mama deserted – we never found the third one. After that point, all of the kids got involved with the taking care of the babies.
My husband made it a weekend project to build a large cage for them. They bought duck food and took them to the creek every day to watch them play. They cleaned out the cage; they dug out the creek to make a pond area. All of the boys out there with their shovels. They held the baby ducklings. Twice a day, they changed the ducks water and filled the food container. Their friends and cousins came over to see the ducks.
They nurtured the ducklings and christened them “Wildflower” and “Feisty”. The ducklings seemed comfortable with the kids. “They’re so cute,” I heard. They did not run away, and they were not afraid at all it seemed. Each night, Rachel brought the ducks inside the house to protect them from predators, and she put them outside again in the morning, at 6 am, before leaving for work.
The ducklings grew so quickly. Soon, little buds came in that would become their wings. Wildflower and Feisty began flapping. And they stopped being so cozy with the kids. They loved being in the creek, splashing around, chasing one another, and they really did not want to go back into the cage. They ran away and it was a bit of an effort to catch them.
It seemed like they wanted to be free.
As Wildflower and Feisty became more independent, the kids’ interest lessened a bit. My husband said it is time to consider letting them go.
Today was the day.
We picked Cedaroak Boat Landing nearby and we held the little carrying case cage as we walked through the long grass to the river. We picked a spot near the island, that was away from the loud boats and people.
As we let Wildflower and Feisty out of the cage and into the river, they looked happy at first. They swam around, ducking their heads in after bugs. But, there were no other ducks around, and soon our ducks came back out to where we were. They seemed lost in the wild. Perhaps they were not ready.
But, then, they saw the other duck. It was time. Feisty and Wildflower followed after the other duck as if it was their mother.
“We found the mother,” Augustin said. “Look, Wildflower and Feisty are following her.”
“I think that is the mother for sure,” Mickael Josef said.
“Look, there are other ducks over there. Maybe they are all related,” Wesley said.
We watched from the shore. We snapped photographs. We waited to be sure they would be okay.
Feisty and Wildflower got separated for a moment from the other duck. “Maybe we should take them back home,” Wesley suggested. “It is a bit too late for that,” Chris said.
We found a log to sit on where we could observe from a distance. We saw other young ducks about the same age.
“I think those are the brothers and sisters,” Mickael Josef said.
Finally, it was time to leave. To leave the ducks in the wild. To trust.
Chris and Augustin and Wesley went ahead while Mickael Josef took his time. Wanting to be sure Feisty and Wildflower were okay.
Sure enough – our last view of our ducklings they were diving under water with several other ducks, looking for dinner. It was time to go home and get ready for ours as well.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Outdoor Summer Concerts define summer....
We attended the Bridgeport Village outdoor Concert last night listening to Aaron Meyer - Oh my goodness. Amazing...I blog about it on my Oregonian Oregon Live WriterMom blog at the following link:
http://blog.oregonlive.com/writermom/2008/08/summer_outdoor_concerts_are_pa.html
http://blog.oregonlive.com/writermom/2008/08/summer_outdoor_concerts_are_pa.html
Thursday, August 14, 2008
REAL-LIFE MOM - Twins comparing each other down to the glasses they wear—or don’t….
Twins comparing each other down to the glasses they wear—or don’t….
REAL-LIFE MOM for August 14, 2008 SW WEEKLY OREGONIAN newspaper–
By Cornelia Seigneur
I finally took my 10-year-old Wesley to the eye doctor this week. His fourth grade teacher Cheri Weaver had said at the last parent teacher conference that Wesley, though a great student, seems to be struggling to see the board.
Wesley’s twin Michael Josef has had glasses since last fall, and Wesley has resisted getting glasses.
“I don’t need glasses,” he’s said to me for months now, and repeated to the eye doctor while sitting in the chair to be tested. The doctor asks him to read the top line of the chart.
After he confidently reads the first large letter row, the doctor instructs him to decipher the next row, which features smaller letters and numbers.
Silence.
“Can you read those Wesley?” the doctor probes.
“No,” he grins.
None of the letters below the top row?” the doctor asks.
“No,” Wesley admits, like he’s been had.
The doctor says, a bit playfully, “No, Wesley you don’t need glasses at all. You’re only at 20/200.”
Ever since his twin got glasses, Wesley has not liked them on his brother. He’s felt they do not look good, and has said so in indirect ways. He’s been determined not to get them himself.
He’s at the age where he notices his looks. And cares about his looks and has opinions about looks and what is cool and what is not and he really wants to fit in, and to not be different.
And Wesley got this idea in his mind that glasses are not the “in” thing, and that somehow they would make him inferior. For some reason, the glasses situation up until now gave Wesley the one-up on his brother. Micki was fine with his glasses. And, now, glasses for Wesley puts the boys on the same playing field.
I have talked about getting Michael Josef contact lenses for a while, and so during the appointment getting Wesley’s glasses, I decided to order Michael Josef contacts. And Wesley as well.
So, really, Wesley will never know what it is like to have only glasses, though I thought it might not have been a bad idea. I want him to realize that having glasses does not make him a different person. Or an uncool person. It just helps you see the white board.
But I decided to get him contacts (and glasses) at the same time, hoping that would cure the comparisons between the twins.
Little could I believe then that a new kind of comparison started, comparing prescription strengths.
It sounded something like this: “Well, my eyes are better than yours,” and “Your eyes are worse than mine,” and, “Well, having worse eyes means you are smarter,” and I am thinking, Man, here are my identical twin boys with the same DNA comparing themselves and I have to remind them that being identical means they are from the same stock.
Same genetics, same bad eyes, same sweet boys. On the inside. Which is what I am trying desperately to teach all of my children.
But when you are 10, you have a different reality. It doesn’t mean that I won’t continue to remind them anyway.
West Linn writer and mom of five, Cornelia Seigneur’s, Real-Life Mom column appears the second Thursday of the month. Reach her at inaword@comcast.net or visit her Mom blog at: http://blog.oregonlive.com/writermom/
REAL-LIFE MOM for August 14, 2008 SW WEEKLY OREGONIAN newspaper–
By Cornelia Seigneur
I finally took my 10-year-old Wesley to the eye doctor this week. His fourth grade teacher Cheri Weaver had said at the last parent teacher conference that Wesley, though a great student, seems to be struggling to see the board.
Wesley’s twin Michael Josef has had glasses since last fall, and Wesley has resisted getting glasses.
“I don’t need glasses,” he’s said to me for months now, and repeated to the eye doctor while sitting in the chair to be tested. The doctor asks him to read the top line of the chart.
After he confidently reads the first large letter row, the doctor instructs him to decipher the next row, which features smaller letters and numbers.
Silence.
“Can you read those Wesley?” the doctor probes.
“No,” he grins.
None of the letters below the top row?” the doctor asks.
“No,” Wesley admits, like he’s been had.
The doctor says, a bit playfully, “No, Wesley you don’t need glasses at all. You’re only at 20/200.”
Ever since his twin got glasses, Wesley has not liked them on his brother. He’s felt they do not look good, and has said so in indirect ways. He’s been determined not to get them himself.
He’s at the age where he notices his looks. And cares about his looks and has opinions about looks and what is cool and what is not and he really wants to fit in, and to not be different.
And Wesley got this idea in his mind that glasses are not the “in” thing, and that somehow they would make him inferior. For some reason, the glasses situation up until now gave Wesley the one-up on his brother. Micki was fine with his glasses. And, now, glasses for Wesley puts the boys on the same playing field.
I have talked about getting Michael Josef contact lenses for a while, and so during the appointment getting Wesley’s glasses, I decided to order Michael Josef contacts. And Wesley as well.
So, really, Wesley will never know what it is like to have only glasses, though I thought it might not have been a bad idea. I want him to realize that having glasses does not make him a different person. Or an uncool person. It just helps you see the white board.
But I decided to get him contacts (and glasses) at the same time, hoping that would cure the comparisons between the twins.
Little could I believe then that a new kind of comparison started, comparing prescription strengths.
It sounded something like this: “Well, my eyes are better than yours,” and “Your eyes are worse than mine,” and, “Well, having worse eyes means you are smarter,” and I am thinking, Man, here are my identical twin boys with the same DNA comparing themselves and I have to remind them that being identical means they are from the same stock.
Same genetics, same bad eyes, same sweet boys. On the inside. Which is what I am trying desperately to teach all of my children.
But when you are 10, you have a different reality. It doesn’t mean that I won’t continue to remind them anyway.
West Linn writer and mom of five, Cornelia Seigneur’s, Real-Life Mom column appears the second Thursday of the month. Reach her at inaword@comcast.net or visit her Mom blog at: http://blog.oregonlive.com/writermom/
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Girl in China singing was not really singing
So, the girl wowing the crowd with her amazing singing at the Olympics opening ceremony was only lipping the words. The real singer was off camera, not pretty enough for the country of China, which is hosting the Olympics to show to the world. The actual singer's voice was beautiful but her face not.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/olympics/article4512250.ece
This is a shame. Sad statement about life and what is deemed pretty enough. The government of China has this quote about the situation:
The national interest requires that the girl should have good looks and a good grasp of the song and look good on the screen. Lin Miaoke was the best in this. And Yang Peiyi's voice was the most outstanding," says a member of China's government about how the 9-year-old mouthed the words while the 7-year-old sang.
I can only imagine what this will do to the little girl singer years from now. Her self esteem damaged by this. Does she even want to tell people about it? I sang at the opening ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Olympics. But, my government did not think I was pretty enough to show the world. What does a parent do in this situation? Does the parent have a choice?
Something is wrong here. The Olympics for China is all about a show and the national interest. What does how beautiful a young girl singer is have to do with national interest? Who defines beauty? How is it determined. A little girl with crooked teeth singing like an angel, is that not beautiful? I say yes.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/olympics/article4512250.ece
This is a shame. Sad statement about life and what is deemed pretty enough. The government of China has this quote about the situation:
The national interest requires that the girl should have good looks and a good grasp of the song and look good on the screen. Lin Miaoke was the best in this. And Yang Peiyi's voice was the most outstanding," says a member of China's government about how the 9-year-old mouthed the words while the 7-year-old sang.
I can only imagine what this will do to the little girl singer years from now. Her self esteem damaged by this. Does she even want to tell people about it? I sang at the opening ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Olympics. But, my government did not think I was pretty enough to show the world. What does a parent do in this situation? Does the parent have a choice?
Something is wrong here. The Olympics for China is all about a show and the national interest. What does how beautiful a young girl singer is have to do with national interest? Who defines beauty? How is it determined. A little girl with crooked teeth singing like an angel, is that not beautiful? I say yes.
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